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Akisame Kōetsuji
Kōetsuji Akisame (岬越寺 秋雨) Like all the other big guys at Ryozanpaku, Akisame is a sadist. Unlike the other big guys at Ryozanpaku, Akisame has a unique way of admitting it. He just comes out and says it like it's nothing. I've never seen a sadist who's so blunt as to openly come out and admit he's a sadist, and Akisame does it with no problem whatsoever. He'll force Kenichi to sit in an uncomfortable position with weights, pots, and knives to lift, watch Kenichi get tortured by Apachai and Sakaki, and wake Kenichi up at 5 AM to run around the town while pulling Akisame, holding a whip to beat Kenichi with, all done with a smile on his face and a beast of a boner in his pants. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that he's a wizard? Akisame is Japanese and a wizard. Those traits are separate. He isn't a wizard because he is japanese nor is he japanese because he is a wizard (or maybe, since we don't often see a Japanese wizard). It just happens that when the Order of the Pheonix was choosing people to send to the muggle world to study the japanese culture they chose a group of japanese people to blend in and lead the mission. Biography Akisame is a 38-year-old philosophical Jujutsu master who was the first master willing to train Kenichi (ironically, he's the one who most commonly points out that Kenichi's weak and unnattractive) and an old friend of Miu's father, Saiga, who looks like a woman. Wouldn't be surprised if they were fucking at one point. We first find out that Akisame is a wizard in what I think is episode 8. Despite his seemingly small physique, he is actually known for having his muscles built to perfection. The guy who wrote this manga expected us to just look past the fact that he looks like an older versian of Kenichi with his shirt on, and like a Mini-Hulk with his shirt off. Doesn't work like that. He also has very good insight on people, often knowing if they are troubled or hiding something; he sometimes even knows what a person is thinking, which scares Kenichi (he's a wizard). He has several hobbies and many unique abilities, including being a famous and legendary artisan, who has mastered calligraphy, painting, pottery, and sculpting, all he had to do was create an alternate universe using the strongest and most forbidden of magic without Dumbledore's knowledge and study all these skills in the time of one year of that universe which only equals a day in ours. When you're so awesome of a wizard that you can fool Dumbledore, you're officially a bad ass. He often invents contraptions that serve as both training devices for Kenichi and power sources for the dojo including a treadmill generator. I think he once created a device that forces Kenichi to workout while at the same time massages The Elder's back. Both awesome and sexy. Because of this, in the manga Kenichi often runs home to him in times of problems screaming "DORAEMON!" (complete with dorayaki). He also owns an orthopedic clinic, and can reset and fix bones with ease (healing magic. Harry Potter himself had to learn how this sucked in the second film when a professor fucked up the surgery. Too bad Akisame wasn't there). In episode 8, Kenichi the late decides to speak the fucking obvious; Akisame is capable of unspeakable brutality. In episode 50, it is shown that Akisame does indeed show anger towards Ogata's treatment of his disciple. When Kenichi imitated him in the battle against Ryuuto, Kenichi openly informed Ryuuto that the basics of martial arts is mimicry, this seemed to impress Akisame. Akisame is also capable of speaking fluently in Russian and can even write Russian symbols well even when driving a motorcycle at high speeds (if that isn't proof than you can just go to hell). Akisame met and defeated Shigure's father before coming to Ryōzanpaku, which is cool. At the conclusion of the match Shigure's father falls to his death, leaving her an orphan. Damn. Akisame leaves her in the care of an old friend and after his old friend dies for some unknown reason that I don't even care about, he brings her to live at Ryōzanpaku. Though it is shown through the manga and anime a fatal weakness of his is green pepper (seriously? That joke is too damn easy). After the DofD tournament, Akisame, Sakaki, and Kenichi go on a job as bodyguards for the Congress woman of Russia. It's funny because Kenichi looks like a total joke working as security. It turns out that Alexander Gaider, The Fist of Destruction, as well as a master of SAMBO, and a member of the One Shadow Nine Fists was after the Congress woman because she had information on Yami. Akisame goes after him along with Kenichi as Sakaki was fighting 2 members of Yami who were of master class(took him 2 minutes. I love you Sakaki). Akisame and Kenichi run into Boris Ivanov, who was the disciple of Alexander Gaidar, though he could only hold Akisame off for just over 1 second. Kenichi holds off Boris and his group while Akisame fights Alexander. They both seemed to be evenly matched as Alexander and Akisame both use styles that are similar however Alexander's SAMBO is stronger offensively than Akisame's Jujutsu, however Akisame has far more experience than Alexander as well as a better body build. Akisame gives Kenichi a signal to get the Congress woman while he holds Alexander off. Then some stuff that I don't care about happens. They both somehow do their job and save her thanks to the last minute arrival of Sexy Sakaki. Both Alexander and Boris take their leave, failing their mission, but at least Sakaki and Akisame touched them at one point, sure it was violence, but it was still at least human contact. Appearence Akisame is a man of above-average height and messy brown hair. He is almost constantly seen in his hakama. Despite his seemingly small physique, he has actually developed his muscles' built and definition to perfection, they're just always hidden due to his magic robe that he owns because he's a wizard. He takes most pride in his small and well-groomed mustache. A unique trait in his appearance is the dull and nearly colorless pupils of his eyes. Personality Despite having a very kind and understanding appearance, Akisame is noted to be the most strict of all the teachers at Ryozanpaku. Because of the grueling training Akisame forces on Kenichi, in the manga Kenichi often runs home to him in times of problems screaming "DORAEMON!" (coincidentally while Akisame is eating dorayaki) in a parody of the recurring gag from the manga of the same name. I don't get it. I looked up Doraemon, and I still don't get it. According to Kenichi, he is capable of unspeakable brutality. His training often involves the usage of various machines that grabs Kenichi's arms and legs and often pulverizes him to nothing, which often leaves Kenichi in a exhausted mess (good job Akisame), which is often a running gag as Kenichi often tries to run away whenever he sees his crazy training machines. Also, he pretty much orchestrates all the awful and cruel ways the masters treat Kenichi, which is great. Now if only they'd do the same to Miu, then it'd be even more cumworthy. While normally a composed and collected individual, at times he has shown anger, such as he did after learning about Ogata's treatment of his disciple. According to Ma Kensei, whenever Akisame says "Eh, I don't want to", his stubborness becomes unrivaled to the point where no amount of compensation can change his mind, and according a flashback, Akisame refused all manners of payment for a statue he crafted offered by a rich country leader (much to Miu's distress) and even sent the assassins and professional thieves hired to steal the statue back beaten up and sent back with an "Eh, I don't want to" note. He seems to hold some kind of grudge against Takeda's master James Shiba as seen when James often insults Akisame's mustache. Ooo, how bad! This grudge held to the point of a rivalry of some sorts as the two actually bet their mustache's to be shaved should the losers disciple lose the match. Though Akisame choose to let Shiba go, after seeing Shiba only shave a small amount off, he became enraged and ordered Shigure to "shave all the hair off his body". The one thing Akisame cannot stand is green peppers, as he reacts with an expression of distaste when Kensei threatened to cook only green peppers and beef, and picks out green pepper after green pepper out of Kensei's Qing Jiao Rou, depositing them in Apachai's bowl. You can't really blame Akisame. Green peppers taste like crotch. Dojo Class Grade 'B ' Akisame... is a good character. I like how he's pretty damn hilarious, and tortures Kenichi a lot. Again, I've seen sadists before, but I've never seen one who would actually just be so blunt with it. He's all "yeah, I'm a sadistic bastard." Kudos to you, bro. One of his defining traits is that he's good at anything he wants to do. If he wants to play basketball he's great at basketball. One episode he decided he was good at drawing and became a great artist. I bet that once, he decided he would no longer be jajanese and then became black. He is also a wizard. He's not really as hot and buff as characters like Sakaki and the Elder, but he's buff nonetheless, it's just the fact that he's not a giant that makes it less impressive. Also, you only get to see his muscles when he takes off his magical shirt. Plus his perfection at everything makes him come off as a Mary Sue. Normally this would drop his grade to about a C+, but I remember in an episode that we end up seeing him wearing absolutely nothing while he forces Kenichi to scrub his back. That's hot as fuck! Category:Characters Category:Ryōzanpaku Category:Men Category:Male